A journey of 21 feb 2018, a journey after

2:29:00 PM

I went to do umrah. What a journey I'd say. The process to get there is so freaking mess. Or maybe it's just me an unorganised person. But the paperwork is already a mess. Then got that settled. Just right before going i just had to go through the fcking interview for my phd. Like seriously. I gotta druve to kl but bfore that let's interview first. Like okay. Then- cerita umrah pulak
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Madinah is fine madinah is great i love it. I'd say i love madinah more then mekah. Just because it's calmer and just love it. Then dugaan satu happen. Tiba2 period. Out of nowhere. What i can is damn it just turn my life upside down in a blink. Tiba2 rasa jahil giler for not knowing anything what should i do bila dlm.ihram but period. Then read read read mcm org giler. Then 3 days of doa and doa and doa and cries. The frustration tuhan je tahu. Next-
Dugaan dua- sakit.
Me and demam is not a good combo. When i got sick i got really freaking sick it's frightening. 2 days bfore back to msia i suddenly like suddenly caught a cold. Batuk2 then suddenly heavy fever. To a point i start shivering. I feel so bad to my big sis and thankful at the same time. She has to take care of my mother and she has to take care of me. (I think i kinda know ady why Allah bagi dugaan ni. I have an issue and i have a perangai yg allah nk tunjuk. Am just human ingat tu. You can't live alone. You need people in life. Be thankful for your family. Which maybe i am not thankful enough). Then-
Journey balik is another dugaan. Nothing goes smoothly. It's like there's just something wrong somewhere. Flight delay. My mother being very difficult. Me demam. The seating is just a mess. All problematic. Same goes bila smpai msia. The mess is real. Me yg sakit got more sick. Seriously i am thankful for my sis. I couldn't even say it am just being me stupid egotistical idiot. I'v got everyone worried. Almost masuk hospital but me is degil. Lololol no hospital. Hate it. After 1 week got better.
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But guess what dugaan tuhan is not done. Dugaan umrah and dugaan phd. Only god knows why things happen the way it is. Wkwkwkwkwk now here i am tired but it's not done yet. In a bus writing this just because i think it's important for me to remember this. Be more thankful for my family. I am just human so don't get get too cocky you need other people you need god. As for what happen take it as it is. Do better next time kamz do better. Be better. Give back to those people. Sabar. Sabar
 Sabar.
Don't go back to depression. Almost.. but you didn't. You fight it. Good job kamz good job. You doin good. Not great but it's okay. Don't hate. Just sabar and take it as it is. It's okay. You're not perfect. It's okay.

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