in a word there'll be this one letter that signify the word.

the reaction always. so yeah...

i am here
i am that someone
i do found you
i always do--
and i always will--
just know.

we are just a bunch of no fun people. conservative. cultured. geek. introverted. family.
since it's a mother's day. i cannot not think how solitude of a family we are. what makes a family a family is mother. there will be no family without mother. even if, you'll have this one person as your mother figure. that always be your family.
we live in a same house and breath the same air but we are more off a stranger.
we are not expressive people. we have love hate relationship. we adored and jealous with each other. the five of us. five similar but different people. how does my mother raised us? an unthinkable an unimaginable.
.
.
.
.
as awkward as we are. as weird as we are.
here, now - we are our very own selves.
adult.
yet we are still your kids mom. always will be.
and sometimes i miss my younger years. i miss the young mother.
.
we all want to be recognized.
we all deep down want to be acknowledge.
for whatever we do.
we are human.
and i for once want to say to my mom as an adult "mom you did a great job.you make the right decision. look at us now. we are decent human being maybe not a great one but we good. to the younger version of my mother mothering is hard. everyone makes mistakes. it's okay to make mistakes."

this is literally younger me. gosh i miss this particular moment.  i always always slept on your stomach. always. i love you mother. i may not show it much. very hot headed. very weird kid. but i love you more than life. my greatest treasure.

Hey can't you see this little boy Trying to feel a little joy Crying in the dark Hey can't you hear this little girl Trying to build a better world Calling in the dark Can't you see my darling I can't take it anymore I need you my darling I can't stand it anymore Oh Georgia, you think I'm fine Why don't you see that I'm down Oh Georgia, I feel like many people today I feel like lost on my own way I don't know why I cry and pray There is no hope anyway There is no hope, anyway