27/1/13
aku bukan anak yang baik
aku pernah menjadi punca mak aku menangis
dan aku menangis-

itu pun bertahun kemudian barulah
perasaan itu datang~
aku pun tak tahu kenapa tapi
aku agaknya kategori emotionless la kot
aku memang susah nak rasa apa-apa
tahu-tahu air mata aku mengalir-
]]

dan hari ni
di meja makan
dia menangis.

aku senyap, diam, bisu
aku tahu kenapa dia menangis
dan aku tahu siapa penyebabnya
dan aku tak mampu nak buat apa-apa

dan aku menangis
jahilnya aku
tak mampu nak mengubat hati mak sendiri

nak marah
amarah itu membawa binasa
dan aku sabar
tahan,tahan,tahan.
genggam buku lima kemas-kemas
nanti mak aku lagi sedih

]]]

aku pendosa
tapi aku kasih dan sayangkan
mak

sakit hati mak
aku pun sakit

melihat mak nangis
menyalahkan diri dia
atas
salah dan silap seorang anak.
dan aku kaku
emotionless.[haihhh apelah masalah aku]

anak itu boleh jadi madu kepada hati seorang ibu
tapi anak juga boleh jadi racun
yang membunuh ibunya dalam sekelip mata

amarah datang..
macam -macam persoalan
kenapa?
kenapa kau buat itu semua?
kenapa kau tak pakai otak?
kenapa?
kau dah tak ingat Allah?



aku sedih--

 just in couple of weeks before i found several videos or people call em "vlog" i think. well i don't know. whateveritis. here's the thing, i'm not really interested in the home video made at first. but then i just stumble upon a super great inspiring video. straight away fall in love with it. its started with one vlog really but then there's this recommendation thingy at your right side bar..you know youtube~ so, then i am bored and not interested in studying thus i watch it. at first it feel realy3333 awkward and super annoyed. i mean like how can they video themself... its just weird in any way i try to think about it. and i still do amaze by it i guess. however, i later then realize this kind of video actually help people in some ways even though in term of mannerism and language is not something that you should learn from em. haha
and in one of those vlog there's a video made by the video owner and her sister. which is super super super awesome! they are like crazy sisters. very close, make jokes bout literally anything at the same time respect each other and very chill. well i am jealous. i don't have that kind of relationship. its not that i don't have sisters, i do. but we are not that emmm how to say this...we love each other but we don't really like each other and we care bout each other but we don't talk much. maybe just me or maybe we are awkward.

just to say it must be nice to have someone knew you since birth and be close to em, share bout lot of thing, support each other, make jokes, crazy stupid one. hehe i am dreaming over something that not gonna happen. why i always do this to myself?~ dont misunderstand, i love my family really

Post kali ni untuk Jolene.
Jolene sahaja tau~



sesapa yang bernama Jolene ni agaknya musuh semua wanita tak pun wanita perampas bolehlah digelar Jolene ni. ngagagagaga. and yeah aku memang takde keje nak buat pegi translate lagu Mat Saleh kepada bahasa Melayu.(padahal esok lusa ade paper nim)

okay the thing is, it is a song bout the pretty bit** called Jolene.cool~
tells how you can't live without the man who's calling some other bit** name in his sleep
which is what the h***. watsoever~ the song is a kill. super great
And
i think i want to be Jolene rather than be the woman singing this song. (this sound as if i want to be a bit**... but no. its just that why go after a man that stupid enough to call other woman name in front of his girl. Daaaaaaaaaaaa)

Besides YOLO rite so lets be the one who hold the remote not being remoted by someone else.
and besides Jolene is Pretty so ofkos la nak jadi Jolene kannnn~


Tadaaa..Tadaa..Tadaaa....
Here's the original song Jolene but sung by not so original singer of the song. But still coolio

not sure whether i should make this post or not.
still i once read somewhere. writing is also a way of saying something.
something that cannot be said with mere word can be said by story

emmmm pikir pikir
takpelahtakjadinaktulis
taksanggup.takmampu.taknaknantiterbacabalikthenteringatbaliksuatumasananti.

I am so sorry to myself, to my heart and to Allah.

this blog is extremely boring. i don't know why people want to read it. its friggin boring like ughhhhhh.
still i did not put an effort to change it cause i like it that way. I LIKE IT!
I am absolutely weird aren't I--
I wrote this post just to inform that. just so you know. don't expect extravaganza thing gonna pop up suddenly or you gonna find something very interesting reading the post. i never like expectation. it suffocating.
the moment i thought my life is boring then i wonder what do people 'do'? i mean those aren't boring people do? how did they do it? be not boring i mean...

and i am writing this post in an unstable mind.
so if anyone wonder why i wrote such aaaaaaaa post. its just because......

the sunset view on the way balik rumah  i snap this scene with my phone camera while driving. I'm crazy.Big time.and I knew it

same thing, except this one is sunrise i think on the way nak pegi kelas. look...that motorbike uncle is FAMOUS!!

I am literally obsess with sunset!! also capture this stunning scene on my way back home with my crazy,huge and heavy phone while driving

And this one is the sunset view in Kinabalu, Sabah. I love this one coz it remind me of my first independent trip my my fellow friend.  just thinking bout this trip there's this one crazy memories that i value Da most. its the funniest thing ever !! and i am so soooo sorry my friend.period. i really didn't mean it  if she read this post she most probably remember it too. and definitely wants to kill me. only you and me babe knows bout it. hahahahaha its funny and funny and funny no matter how many time i think about it, its still remain funny.

see how boring i am...
okay. the end--

so many thoughts yet so very little words

"I spend my days ignoring you, and my nights disobeying you. But still, you never forget me; not even for a second. Oh Allah, change me"