-sigh-
...................
now: the mood is down
now: i hate myself more than anything else
now: i'm trying my best in everything; and Lord its hard !
now: i don't know what to do. i try, i try and still trying...aishhh susahnya



how can someone have lots of patience in them?
how lah??
i'm really curious...how did they do that?
what do they eat?
is there anything that i should do or eat or anything>>>>



the matter of heart is always hard;
the problem with emotion gives me stomach ulcer;
the stress with behavior gives me headache;
the tension of living itself gives me goose bum;
can i give up?
i did once didn't i?...it doesn't work out~
now you want to do it again? really? seriously?
what's wrong with me?
i'm getting more and more closer to bipolar disorder huh?
i guess there always a reason why God made you think about something even if you never knew bout it~
and here i am..thinking and finding myself in this position..
what the hell lah?!



i really believe in God.. i do.. i really do.
i want to be better muslim...and its just soooo hard.
i relly do need YOU rigt now..
its keep on coming and i can't stop it
i can't control it..





and i'm getting tired of it..




  

"Teacher can i ask you a question?"
'sure, you may ask me anything' ...
"why do you wear big spec?" [muka innocent habis>>>>>>>>>]

Aduh soalan dia~ menggamit jiwa~ hahahhaha
it never crossed my mind for them to ask me this...fuhhhhhhhhhhhhh -sigh-
speechless you 0..0 [amek kau budak zaman sekarang kuriositi tinggi]
Shock?
hell yeah! still kind of adorable...

i'm not really good in this kind of thing 'teaching' but its not bad for a first timer like me right..kehkehkeh
its been sooooo long since i've  left the primary school.. and today its my first time to go to school but playing a different role...a teacher.
WOW right!! haha
i've shocked myself...

back to school now...
i learn something from it
and i kinda miss the old days at the same time i can feel the aura you know~~ the school it has its own aura..its different.. i dunno but its like something's there that can't be describe with words..
maybe because half of my life i spent in school....so its norm right to feel like coming home.
its that kind of feeling..
then you start to reminiscing, then smiling sorang2 haha...
However..i never want to go back to school as a student that for sure.. huhu the feeling of relief to be able to get out from school is still there.. -freedom-
maybe some might say 'owh i wish i can go back to school' well its different for me>>>
leaving school is one of the best feeling in my life... like i said i'm not boring
 i'm not a mr.bean or anything i just have a different interest and that's make me special~~ ^^ [pujilah diri sendiri dah xde org nk tlg pujikan]

now lets go back to the teacher thing~
teaching for the first time.....hummm fun should i say, exciting and most definitely nervous...
and make sure you take your breakfast..oohohoho it sure do need a lot of energy to cope with those kids yang energy diorang rechargeable withind few second je la aku rase...
i can't believe myself, i just handled about 50 student!!! alone>>>
amazing !...dah la siap ada gaduh2..adehh aku dah la tak biasa dengan budak tetibe gaduh pulak.. [berdobar den]... and still i can't find myself to scold this kids..that's it they just kids..i don't think scolding is the only method..i know its wrong to fight but i've been a kid once i think i understand what they're going through so i try my best not to scold them.. and i try to talk it through... i'm not in the best place to bagi nasihat pasal ego lah kan..gagagaga since my ego is like nun tinggi melangit..i know that. but i want them to understand why its not right to fight with each other not just to make them scared of me and they'll stop fighting because i said so.. no, i want them to understand the importance of it.. to me itulah mendidik~
maybe it sound classic me...well that's me~ haha




thank God i'm not a teacher just teacher for a day~ huhu tak mampu rasanya aku nak hidup macam ni hari-hari...gagagaga **fening fening**

there are times when you don't even realize that you have taken few of your limited time just by doing nothing
i don't even remember what i'm thinking
i can't even recall what have i been doing during those times
it rather odd i would say
such a thing happen to me..
weird~
freaky~
self centered~
yup that's me..and one more thing cool~ ahakz