in my entire life this 25 years of living. not even once i have this major crush like massive supreme extreme crush on an artist. and this lady just crush my heart. again and again. never in my right mind i'd feel it. waaaa the feeling is real. and the frustration is real too! aghhhhhhhhhh damn.



that time when i realize damn she's just waaaa. if you watch this performance you'd know what i mean. fantastic duo season 1 episode 8 i think.


i just fall. badum!



as unbelievable as it sound. it's not.




she's most charming passionate sexy attractive especially when she sing.

heart eyes all over. aghhhh

how is this not cool??

you took my heart away. yes you. you did.



people be like. she's old enough to be your mother. i be like she's old enough to be my lover.


kesedihan. why does she have to be so famous? why am i no one?!!! this is the only time that i wish i am somebody or super rich. just so i could met her. arghhhh the frustration




hancur harapan. T_______________T





damn you heart




I  would fall for her a billion times.


my anak sedara asked me the other day. who is that lady?
me: that is someone asu suka.
niece: krik krik krik
* hence the question because she's my phone wallpaper. my lappy wallpaper. i watch her video a lot. this is so embarrassing. but that's what you do when you're crushing on someone i guess. hahahahahahahaha

i sound like a teenager who just hit puberty and have their first crush. welp this is my first major artist crush. i am a late bloomer lets admit that shall we.

even if one day i'd feel am over her and i saw her singing. yup i am interested in you again. and that only Lee Sun Hee can do.

It's so barren
That it became so sad to go there.
.
.
Just keep living.
Can't cut it off nor can you waste it.
Find your passion
Be passionate
.
Aahhh so nice to feel that way
Unfortunately she is not able of that.
She get bored really easily.
She tried. She really did.
Nothing seems to work out
.
.
.
.
So barren.
The echo of the wind
The light and the dark come and goes.
.
Not good. This is not good.
.
.
.
Guilt is an unseen pain
Like a silent killer
.
It kills the hope with that it become the new normal.
.
.
.
Is it?
***********

A smile is the prettiest thing one can wear.
And a smile is the greatest lie one can use.
.
.
.
Everyone deep down scared of being lonely.
and everyone is waiting to be found to be understood.



****
this has been a draft for too long. feel like posting it. a title is just a title. who knows why i use that title. maybe i'll remember it again one day. maybe not, not everything always make sense. life doesn't.

aku dan demam berpisah tidak.
.
there's a lot of thing i wanna write. a lot of tips, thoughts, experience and everything. seeing how one's memories be taken away piece by piece is just scary. i am afraid i'd be like that too. one day.
.
maybe this makes no sense. i just wanna write.

I don't normally do this.
Fairly saying very rare! haha
and I don't read much of Malay...thing stuff whatever...guilty as charge.
BUT  Surat Qaisy buat Teman Lelakinya, Zayd by Elham Rebel is freaking good. The words the simple yet complicated sentences just ughhhhhh leaving my heart aching and fluttering.
What a wonderful words

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words
- Mark Twain

bila nasihat diminta
nasihat diberi
tapi tak boleh follow.
why?
.
i cannot brain.
nothing change if you don't take that one step
nothing is impossible you have to take that action
and yes of coz you can
.
aihh tak paham
sangat tak paham

Hey can't you see this little boy Trying to feel a little joy Crying in the dark Hey can't you hear this little girl Trying to build a better world Calling in the dark Can't you see my darling I can't take it anymore I need you my darling I can't stand it anymore Oh Georgia, you think I'm fine Why don't you see that I'm down Oh Georgia, I feel like many people today I feel like lost on my own way I don't know why I cry and pray There is no hope anyway There is no hope, anyway

-racoon racoon
.
.
.
.
so simple so deep so perfectly written few words
.
.
.
depression sucks. tetiba but yeah haha

music has been my bestfriend for so many years hah. starting with avril lavigne's. geeshhh
.
all this musics just make the some of the mainstream music sound so irrelevant