So hard that i came back here

To write-

To let it out--?

To cope?

To make sense?

To be less painful?

I dunno..we dunno-

.

It's so painful that my vision went blurry on another level

The pain didn't go away

Well..it's not the first time

Well we od ourself with sleeping pill usually 

So...yeay us

We didn't this time--?

.

We hate her

We hate ourself

We hate each other

We hate everything

So much hate

Why?

.

Why trying to stay alive is so hard?

.

Are we that difficult?

We are aren't we?

--

We are not

But we are not common--

.

Everything is just so confusing

Today feels so high without even having to od

An explosion in the head

The soundless explosion only we know 

Can't keep my eyes fully open

Hate everything

At the same time not really

Feels sorry for myself 

But not really-

Didn't know what to feel 

But feels everything all at once-

.

.

.

We are not "normal" but we have to live in this "normal" life

.

.

We have to stay alive-- 

The least we can do

How?