We're figuring things out. We'll manage.

I don't know how but We'll manage

We always does.

It is a lonely journey either way

With or without therapy

I am tired of all this.

I'll just do whatever comes.

I won't be bad

I am too coward to be one.

I won't be good

I'm too tainted to be one.

I'll just manage.

It is a lonely road regardless.

There's nothing.

It's empty.

It's not bad. It's just nothing.

It's been functioning fine

Today is hard

it's bound to happen
this day..
sooner or later
to come

i don't feel it
guilt
i don't feel it anymore

very human
but very inhumane

well is it?
abusing people is not right?
right?
is it?

i am going to hell anyway

sometime i wonder
is it because of me my mother became like this
sometime i wonder
is it because i left my mother alone she became like this
sometime i wonder
is it because i don't care enough of my mother that she became like this
sometime i wonder
if i realize a bit earlier maybe my mother won't be like this
sometime i self blame a lot
sometime feels like it is all my fault
sometime feels like it is not enough
i should've done better
it could've been better
sometime i feels all that
sometime i wonder about all that
sometime..

i'll be fine
i will be fine
i want to be fine
i need to believe i will be.
***
never i ever imagine
i'd feel it again
.
it's bad.
run
away
far away
.
dont try
dont even bother to try
.
dont go there
just dont
let yourself down
.
let it go
.
the short moment is beautiful
something to enjoy
but not something to keep

i really am floating around right now. not knowing what to do. having no pleasure to do anything. just existing i guess. i am making myself confuse. how to go about this life. i am living the present. but not really. my head is somewhat in reality but not, everything seems in cloudnine. everything just pass by. everyday went by with me not really present but at the same time realizing how real it feels the passing of time is. some things is best not be felt. i guess god truly answering my prayers. i am thankful as much as i am at lost. how human does that sound.