“Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.” 
― Joss Whedon

:: just so you know belogie I love this quote so damn much. kekekeke

**************

I just have to let it out. I realize I have this problem or syndrome or habit i don't know.. anyhow the issue is I found that I am very stingy.. a stinger. I think. I just don't want someone or anyone to find out about certain things. Like I have a great song in my playlist or a great books that I read. And I hope to God no one else knows about it. It's so good that I don't want to share.

What is my problem?!! jeeshh

This may also because of my introvertness- I think. I just love to keep things to myself. I love sharing my thought but there some things just so precious I don't want anyone to find it. It's such a great deal when I share...meaning that I have given certain time to think whether to share it or not. I have to fight with myself just to share something not even mine actually. HAHAHA what is my problem belogie?? I am just so effing weird. And I know it and it makes it much more weirder!

:: so many weird word used today. My English teacher will be very unhappy about this.

a memory to keep is a small things that make you realize who you really are.

I'm too tired to smile again And I'm too hurt to ever be friends There's no use in lying again And I'm too bruised to fight anything I'm so tired of being afraid And I'm so sick of wasting away And there's no truth in whatever you say You tore my heart out again and again I can feel you in my chest You're suffocating every breath And I can't scream and shout anymore Anymore, Anymore, Anymore And maybe I'll jump ship Cut my losses cash my chips I can sail alone, leave that love that I've called home And I will call your bluff Hope to god that it's enough Though it cuts my soul It's the only thing I've ever known You tore out my heart

-tiny little house-

One day someone break our heart

the longer you live
the larger your sin
the more you learn
the heavier your insecurities
******************************

one sheep two sheep.. one blink two blink and here we are; in this page talking to each other realizing how we have aged. You know when you are aged when you read or heard the latest technology or celebrity that you never ever ever heard of...you know you are old when you reach tot he point what is this kids doing?? (latest trend).

Beloggi, my dear friend we're old. Oh my...when did we get here? How time pass huh.. One thing never change though..I still get sick like crazy as per usual. I know you're not shock no more by this. People said time heals..NAHHHHH time heal nothing. I like to think am strong but when it hit you hard, it's kinda hurt to realize you're not as strong as you thing you are. Just to keep something.. a memory to remind me later...I'm just human with so many lacking and am a senior now -__-

********

Anyway,
Life must go on. Project creating as much memory as possible has begun! muahahahaha
Hiking on three freaking gunung in a day is pertty cool huh.. with a cold somemore.
A big applause to ME!! Malaysia is full of amazing places we're just so blinded by this normalcy and stereotype living. Well maybe I'm a bit late in taking an action to live better create my own memory that I want to keep but hey I did take that first step right. Thank god am weird.

Shyly saying this

Looking for something. What?
I don't know.
Why are you looking for it?
emm I don't know maybe I'm bored.
Is that it? Then it's not that important.
Well yeah I guess it's not important.
*****
Looking for something. Again?
Yeah..and I still don't know what is..
I don't understand. How can you look for something and not knowing what is.. It doesn't sound right.
Well yeah I guess it doesn't make sense does it.
*****
*anxiously* Looking for something. What???
I don't know. I'm sorry but I really don't know.
Then why are looking for it?? **Annoyed**
I don't know.
Okay.**sigh** I'll help you search for it. Will you stop being anxious?
I can't promise you that~
Why not?!
Just because.
I am so annoyed by you! Let's just look for the damn thing you've been looking for.
I know you love me. **Grin**
Nope. I need you to keep me alive.
Well thank you for understanding.
Nope I don't understand it at all heart...but I can reason with it..I'm brain.

Is it measured by hate?
Or by anger?
or is it measured by size?
what is it?

How can it be insignificant?
********
pain
look at it or look away.
********
hate
Let it be or tame it
*******
Insignificant is a short cut route we take to move forward even when one is hurting. It's another way one says "I'm okay" "I'm used to it".
Know this. Learn from a jerk to not be worst than this jerk.