“Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.”
― Joss Whedon
:: just so you know belogie I love this quote so damn much. kekekeke
**************
I just have to let it out. I realize I have this problem or syndrome or habit i don't know.. anyhow the issue is I found that I am very stingy.. a stinger. I think. I just don't want someone or anyone to find out about certain things. Like I have a great song in my playlist or a great books that I read. And I hope to God no one else knows about it. It's so good that I don't want to share.
What is my problem?!! jeeshh
This may also because of my introvertness- I think. I just love to keep things to myself. I love sharing my thought but there some things just so precious I don't want anyone to find it. It's such a great deal when I share...meaning that I have given certain time to think whether to share it or not. I have to fight with myself just to share something not even mine actually. HAHAHA what is my problem belogie?? I am just so effing weird. And I know it and it makes it much more weirder!
:: so many weird word used today. My English teacher will be very unhappy about this.
― Joss Whedon
:: just so you know belogie I love this quote so damn much. kekekeke
**************
I just have to let it out. I realize I have this problem or syndrome or habit i don't know.. anyhow the issue is I found that I am very stingy.. a stinger. I think. I just don't want someone or anyone to find out about certain things. Like I have a great song in my playlist or a great books that I read. And I hope to God no one else knows about it. It's so good that I don't want to share.
What is my problem?!! jeeshh
This may also because of my introvertness- I think. I just love to keep things to myself. I love sharing my thought but there some things just so precious I don't want anyone to find it. It's such a great deal when I share...meaning that I have given certain time to think whether to share it or not. I have to fight with myself just to share something not even mine actually. HAHAHA what is my problem belogie?? I am just so effing weird. And I know it and it makes it much more weirder!
:: so many weird word used today. My English teacher will be very unhappy about this.
a memory to keep is a small things that make you realize who you really are.
I'm too tired to smile again
And I'm too hurt to ever be friends
There's no use in lying again
And I'm too bruised to fight anything
I'm so tired of being afraid
And I'm so sick of wasting away
And there's no truth in whatever you say
You tore my heart out again and again
I can feel you in my chest
You're suffocating every breath
And I can't scream and shout anymore
Anymore, Anymore, Anymore
And maybe I'll jump ship
Cut my losses cash my chips
I can sail alone, leave that love that I've called home
And I will call your bluff
Hope to god that it's enough
Though it cuts my soul
It's the only thing I've ever known
You tore out my heart
-tiny little house-
-tiny little house-
One day someone break our heart
The next we break our own heart
Then a voice screaming in my head...
So what can I do?
Betrayal is a feeling only one can feel
Like a wave come hitting on the rock splashing and shattering itself
Is it naivety or stupidity
So what can I do?
Waiting on another day to come
And another day goes by
Missing someone and someplace that's never there
So what can I do?
Giving one's heart to another
but fate have it's own mind
being together is never
So what can I do?
Looking back
Mistakes and regret
never fail to haunt
Will I ever be free?
Self hate and depress
become good friend
So what can I do?
Knock down again and again
Pick myself back up
everything seems faints
Too tired to fight
too numb to feel
So what can I do--
Beautiful thought colouring the dreams
noting that nothing last forever
despair and sadness come sitting next to me
You are my world
then you leave never coming back--
So what can I do?
The rush make you feel alive
passing through beautiful life--
An old lady waiting by the side
time is not kind nor is it healing
She rose her head looking for a ride
And I--
Her back must hurt
her skin must be burning
nothing looks comfy.
For that 2 second..hopelessly wondering
nothing just nothing
just like the wind--
So what can I do?
Knock down again and again
Pick myself back up
everything seems faints
Too tired to fight
too numb to feel
So what can I do--
Beautiful thought colouring the dreams
noting that nothing last forever
despair and sadness come sitting next to me
You are my world
then you leave never coming back--
So what can I do?
The rush make you feel alive
passing through beautiful life--
An old lady waiting by the side
time is not kind nor is it healing
She rose her head looking for a ride
And I--
Her back must hurt
her skin must be burning
nothing looks comfy.
For that 2 second..hopelessly wondering
nothing just nothing
just like the wind--
So what can I do?
What can I possibly do?Oh beautiful life.
the longer you live
the larger your sin
the more you learn
the heavier your insecurities
******************************
one sheep two sheep.. one blink two blink and here we are; in this page talking to each other realizing how we have aged. You know when you are aged when you read or heard the latest technology or celebrity that you never ever ever heard of...you know you are old when you reach tot he point what is this kids doing?? (latest trend).
Beloggi, my dear friend we're old. Oh my...when did we get here? How time pass huh.. One thing never change though..I still get sick like crazy as per usual. I know you're not shock no more by this. People said time heals..NAHHHHH time heal nothing. I like to think am strong but when it hit you hard, it's kinda hurt to realize you're not as strong as you thing you are. Just to keep something.. a memory to remind me later...I'm just human with so many lacking and am a senior now -__-
********
Anyway,
Life must go on. Project creating as much memory as possible has begun! muahahahaha
Hiking on three freaking gunung in a day is pertty cool huh.. with a cold somemore.
A big applause to ME!! Malaysia is full of amazing places we're just so blinded by this normalcy and stereotype living. Well maybe I'm a bit late in taking an action to live better create my own memory that I want to keep but hey I did take that first step right. Thank god am weird.
the larger your sin
the more you learn
the heavier your insecurities
******************************
one sheep two sheep.. one blink two blink and here we are; in this page talking to each other realizing how we have aged. You know when you are aged when you read or heard the latest technology or celebrity that you never ever ever heard of...you know you are old when you reach tot he point what is this kids doing?? (latest trend).
Beloggi, my dear friend we're old. Oh my...when did we get here? How time pass huh.. One thing never change though..I still get sick like crazy as per usual. I know you're not shock no more by this. People said time heals..NAHHHHH time heal nothing. I like to think am strong but when it hit you hard, it's kinda hurt to realize you're not as strong as you thing you are. Just to keep something.. a memory to remind me later...I'm just human with so many lacking and am a senior now -__-
********
Anyway,
Life must go on. Project creating as much memory as possible has begun! muahahahaha
Hiking on three freaking gunung in a day is pertty cool huh.. with a cold somemore.
A big applause to ME!! Malaysia is full of amazing places we're just so blinded by this normalcy and stereotype living. Well maybe I'm a bit late in taking an action to live better create my own memory that I want to keep but hey I did take that first step right. Thank god am weird.
Shyly saying this
Aurora just sooth me.
She just took all the pain and tiredness away.
How wonderful it is to feel like someone understand you but they don't even know you.
How can another person gracefully say in her words all thoughts and what not in MY head and heart.
I am just thankful for that alone. Why?
**********
Let me tell you a story of a girl.
Felt so tired with paranoid of people judging.
Self worthlessness been her bestfriend for so long
No where to run, feeling so attached.
So, she stays.
She stays for so long till she learn to control everything.
When to be dark when to be light.
It's a dangerous game
She knows-
She's still playing. Wondering why?-
Because she can.
It's a very lonely game tho.
And Aurora just make her feel less lonely knowing there's just someone out there just like her.
The nature of human is still in her...That is--
To belong--
Just to feel belong somewhere somehow
Aren't we all?
Looking for something. What?
I don't know.
Why are you looking for it?
emm I don't know maybe I'm bored.
Is that it? Then it's not that important.
Well yeah I guess it's not important.
*****
Looking for something. Again?
Yeah..and I still don't know what is..
I don't understand. How can you look for something and not knowing what is.. It doesn't sound right.
Well yeah I guess it doesn't make sense does it.
*****
*anxiously* Looking for something. What???
I don't know. I'm sorry but I really don't know.
Then why are looking for it?? **Annoyed**
I don't know.
Okay.**sigh** I'll help you search for it. Will you stop being anxious?
I can't promise you that~
Why not?!
Just because.
I am so annoyed by you! Let's just look for the damn thing you've been looking for.
I know you love me. **Grin**
Nope. I need you to keep me alive.
Well thank you for understanding.
Nope I don't understand it at all heart...but I can reason with it..I'm brain.
I don't know.
Why are you looking for it?
emm I don't know maybe I'm bored.
Is that it? Then it's not that important.
Well yeah I guess it's not important.
*****
Looking for something. Again?
Yeah..and I still don't know what is..
I don't understand. How can you look for something and not knowing what is.. It doesn't sound right.
Well yeah I guess it doesn't make sense does it.
*****
*anxiously* Looking for something. What???
I don't know. I'm sorry but I really don't know.
Then why are looking for it?? **Annoyed**
I don't know.
Okay.**sigh** I'll help you search for it. Will you stop being anxious?
I can't promise you that~
Why not?!
Just because.
I am so annoyed by you! Let's just look for the damn thing you've been looking for.
I know you love me. **Grin**
Nope. I need you to keep me alive.
Well thank you for understanding.
Nope I don't understand it at all heart...but I can reason with it..I'm brain.
